moved blog to www.thepearlcollector.net

check it out. it’ll be my website with a little bit of everything that i do.

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“The Body of Christ”

1 Corinthians 12:21-26

²¹The eye cannot say to the hand, “I don’t need you!” And the head cannot say to the feet, “I don’t need you!” ²²On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, ²³and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, ²⁴while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has combined the members of the body and has given greater honor to the parts that lacked it, ²⁵so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. ²⁶If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.

While the bible says everything that needs to be said… I’ll just share my personal interpretation and application of it. I may be wrong, but my conviction is one with experience that makes me confident that my take on it is accurate.

Years ago, my family was a victim of a painful church-split, and at the time my relationship with God was distant, very far from honest and real on my part. This experience drove me into a search for the truth, and a love for the truth mixed with an angry, bitter view of the church, and to all those in place of leadership inside and outside the body who were using their status for personal gain, even when unintentional and just a weak moment in their personal life.

“The heart is deceitful above all things, And desperately wicked; Who can know it?” In a world where individuals are extremely busy and self-absorbed in all their striving for whatever end, I find it is hard to most of us to stop, and take a step back to look into the heart. We live in a world that blows with the wind, if not, desperately grasping for it, escapism, identity crises.

The desire for unity and peace in any arena is a God-given desire that is in the heart of every person, regardless of how hard their heart is, even for the atheist. A heart may be walled up and the desire is deep within, but everybody wants it in their life. But in the church… or the “body of Christ,” it has become a place of striving for many, to find some sort of balance, a united vision… a feeling of being “on the right path” as a body of believers.

Until Jesus returns, the only right path the body of believers will have, is Jesus. No formula, order, organization, event, style of teaching, theology, interpretation, worship service, etc, will have any weight or “right path” unless it is centered only in Jesus.

Obviously this sounds elementary, but the heart IS deceitful. It is often hard to immediately see if something being done is to make the individual feel better about where their flock of believers are moving, growing (in numbers), or how their formula for evangelism is working. It can quickly become about a person or thing instead of Jesus if things aren’t kept in line with Jesus, and always given up to Him. If it’s always focused on Jesus, the fullness of why Jesus is so important and so necessary. Once our personal interests get involved, it becomes pious, self-righteous and self-seeking.

Each group of people, geographic region of believers, individuals, etc, are different parts of this body. While one part of the Body is meant to be the mouth (evangelists, worship leaders, anything that Jesus would say to be the mouth), others are meant to be the legs, whether that means the workers who make it all work financially, administratively, anything that keeps the body moving forward. The eyes could mean prayer, and an awareness to the spiritual and natural climates of creation. The only one who can be the whole body, is Christ himself. He is the perfect intercessor with Wisdom, accomplishing the Father’s will, and is moving and doing great things all over the earth, even through us.

It takes laborers doing their part, and choosing with the grace of God to be a vessel for Christ. It takes complete surrender, and freedom from the bondage sin. The apostle Paul describes everything needed for the individual to be free when he speaks of captivating the thoughts. EVERYTHING negative, starts in the mind, and when it becomes an action or words slipping from the tongue, it begins its destructive course.

God is the one who is sanctifying us in his own timing, on his terms. We will eventually see our role and purpose individually in our days, even if we are not the last generation before His return. As long as we keep our relationship with Him honest and repentant, He will guide us to the light, and the way He desires the body to operate.

Throughout history He has been doing a great job at showing us how we so foolishly abused the light He gave us. (Think of the catholic crusades). See how far we have come? The level of maturity (sanctification) that has come from our blunt abuse of the Scripture to getting closer and closer to pure, undefiled religion, coupled with the knowledge our need of a real relationship with Him, instead of the pious order of Catholicism! Only God can be given the glory to the revelation of our weaknesses, as He continues to shine the light on this dark, dark world.

I just got back from my first trip as an evangelist, and now know that this is where I am called to be. We are all evangelists in our personal spheres of influence. But to be one who travels, and reaches out to the world is one God makes known and lets them know in their personal journey. We all have roles, and will find it as long as we surrender all to Him. Our personal dreams, desires, idols and sin puts God in a box, and He is so kind to respect it, and let us chase the wrong path until we return to Him.

Eventually, the body will be One… and until then…. fight the good fight of Faith! While we are painfully divided, only one thing keeps us together, and that is Jesus… lets give up our devices of sin, call it sin, and let Him pull us back together. He paid for it in full.

Crescendo – a poem.

The United States lies to waste,
with wasteful ties to lies of late.
Haste and hate, came through the gates,
and Fate so nigh, it might not wait.

An Introduction to Sasha Stark.

done

Viewer beware.

Writing, the Right Way.

What I realized today, was that when I post on this blog, it’s usually in a way that is just… hasty.

So those of you i’ve tortured with terrible grammar, repetitiveness, and poor structure, behold… a vow to embrace patience and wisdom before publishing anymore posts on this blog.

I tend to just think about a topic, write it, then post it, with absolutely no planning, proofreading, or professional degree. I don’t structure it in a way that articulates a point in a way that gives the reader the ability  just move right through the post and with ease, understand what I’m saying without getting bored, or having to re-read a sentence because it was just to thick, or even a run-on sentence.

So consider this the last, hasty post from me.

An accurate display of the far-right (conservative view)

With the misinformation from both sides in our government, there is always the fear-tactic that keeps that side emotional and reactionary.

Liberals are too trusting of their leaders, thus adopting a radical humanistic ideology based on ideas with good intent (i’ve said that alot now, but that is what it is).

Conservatives are too hypersensitive and fearful of socialism, while moderates just don’t really care, as long as the nation doesn’t fall apart and their own life keeps steady.

This was clearly written (and very witty) by one on the far right.

The end is a bit inappropriate, but it’s the typical, pathetic bashing of the other side in a witty negative way. But it does illustrate, and over-exaggerate points that are worth observing.

done

Manipulation & Control

“If you can’t convince them, confuse them.” -Harry Truman

Manipulators and control-needy people often use the tactic of confusing their people or person to produce a reaction that best fills the satisfying feeling of being in control, and the peace of mind that your followers, children, co-workers, etc, are loyal to you and your stance on any given subject, lifestyle, theology, religion, etc.

Some manipulate out of fear of losing the control because of pain and mistreatment, and the feeling that they are pioneering the right way of thinking, or the right way to do things.

You can look at various historical figures who operated out of pain and mistreatment, which can be translated to the phrase “bitter envy, and self deceit” because of that pain or mistreatment that the individual experienced. Hitler for one, was an artist, mistreated, rejected, not just by the art community and the colleges, but even those close to him, his father. The striving a young man does to get his father’s blessing and honor for career choices is a journey that helps define a man. Everyone knows the history that follows, and grotesque nature of manipulation and control over multitudes of people.

Manipulation and Control is an area of struggle for everybody. Some are crafty, some are just emotional. Some just don’t know that they’re really manipulating to get what they want, at other peoples expense.

I’ve seen it so many times… it’s usually painted with a language of strong conviction, coupled with emotional baggage, and then a great ultimatum. Sometimes it comes with underlying leverage, that makes the person or group of people feel bad for being in agreement, or any sort of opposition to it. Out of pity, even a subtle accusation of disloyalty, naivety, or even persuaded with eloquent language that sounds convincing and seemingly wise…. they submit, and give in to the manipulator’s demands and/or requests.

Then there’s the violent fear tactic. It’s when the people or person have been so inundated and controlled by the manipulator’s words and belief system, that they live in fear of abuse, death, or isolation (excommunication).

There are so many ways people manipulate people, and its a sick, disgusting reality.

If God is sovereign, and you believe in God, let His people go… cast away your so-called wisdom, and give the people dignity to embrace their own journey, and you live yours.

Happiness, what is it?

While doing laundry, I just suddenly had a couple thoughts on dynamics of what happiness seems to be and what it is. So everything written here are just mere thoughts in a vague boring structure, almost as if they were proverbs or conclusions of thought, but really it’s just a live, on-the-go verbal processing. My right pinky fell asleep several times while blogging this from my iPhone.

Hype and excitement will not produce happiness, it creates expectation. The expectations of an individual are what helps the individual respond genuinley to whatever subject or medium in which the individual is recieving information whether visually, audibly or just intuitivley.

The response of someone with low expectations of a film will be much higher than usual, while someone with high expectation grumbles or scoffs at it, (even though on the grand scale it was reviewed as mediocre). The mood of the individual prior the viewing of a film, event, book, conversation dramatically gets in the way regardless of the prior expectations and quality of the information exchange.

A facade of giddy happiness is in fact escapism to seek out a warm and fuzzy feeling of belonging but usually ending without that void filled, it’s a sign of the need of freedom from the bondage of this identity crisis (or facade). There is much striving in an individual caught up in a facade.

Happiness is not the feeling of pleasure of laughter in a conversation, that was just a fun conversation that felt good. You could say in that moment you were happy, but happiness is the freedom from an idenity crisis, a firm resolve in who you are, full of hope and no fear of tommorow, free from selfishness and full of meekness. Real joy.

Pure & Undefiled Healthcare Reform

Let me start with my idea of the needed remedy. A pure & undefiled healthcare reform would be a system where the federal government has little involvment, but a Healthcare Act created by the people and our representatives that organize funds on the local and state level, again, with very little federal influence. This Act would create a system of volunteer and paid doctors, nurses, and the other necessities that are mobile in their city or entire state, which seek out through well funded marketing, to reach as much of those in need as possible, and completely free for the patient. These kinds of organizations already exist, but they are usually private, non-profit organizations funded privately, and free of state, local, and or federal tax. We also need to raise the bar of funding for these private organizations. State Government run entities should be allowed, but they wont be expected of the local govt, as tax benefits for such services from private organizations will energize private organizations to help out more.

The heated debate of Healthcare Reform has taken many turns, (often just spinning in circles), but there is a gradual growth in the debate, even though it seems a majority of democrats & the liberals are pushing really hard to get their version of it set in stone.

It seems the division ideologically in this nation and government is so great that there can be no friendly, constructive debate on the issue. Few are teachable, and teachable leaders in the representative end of the government are the necessity in getting anything honorable and good established. Those on the platform and their politics are like a squeezed sponge over a watercolor painting. You get a vague idea of what you can see, but its one great blurry mess.

There is some good intent in the pursuit of this reform, but it was never in need of such a massive bill. All that is needed is a clear debate, in plain english, on how to fund healthcare for those who are poor, and do not have circumstances that enable them to take care of themselves in areas of life that most of us can.

The danger of letting the government pursue this reform without our involvement as a people, is that it is OUR money that they are taking from us, and we’re too trusting of an eloquent presentation with language that makes you feel like you’re hearing something good, but in fact, you have no idea what they’re really saying. They are just making your heart feel warm and fuzzy with the noble truth and idea of helping those who are in need.

The ideal is that people will help out of the desire to do good, but how do you inspire 300 million people which their busy lives pursuing are the american dream in the way they see fit? The human heart desires to do good, but is too self seeking to labor wholeheartedly and serve with meekness.

Proverbs 13:4  The soul of a lazy man desires, and has nothing;
But the soul of the diligent shall be made rich.

President Reagan 48 years before Obamacare (healthcare)

We all know that humanity keeps running around like a dog chasing its tail… but here is something that the “conservatives” and “moderates” should be screaming from rooftops. Yet, Reagan’s approach, semantics and good looks are only what might just reel in the “first class intellectuals” also known as Liberals, and if they know what humility means, they’ll listen, and respond swiftly, and as wisdom advises it.

done

the truth is…

Americans will not care about the current state of this nation until they are robbed of the system they are currently inundated with. They don’t understand the legislative system, or their role in it. Those who do know, are either giving up, and giving in, or they are scrambling to organize, with not much influence or a platform to regain our control as “the People.”

The church isn’t realizing their role in the nation, and generally are striving to be relevant to the philosophies that help keep their personal identities valid before themselves and how they want people to view them. Some pockets of the church are realizing it, and some are trying to do their part, but may just burn out, as the church continues to grumble and embrace contentious dialogue against the other parts of the body. Each congregation has it’s own role, but are too busy looking at the Body, wanting to tell the other part what to do.

Every great idea, (myspace, wordpress,  facebook, twitter, cars, films, photography, etc) ends up being used in a way that keeps the multitudes attached to some sort of addiction, whether big or small, it’s often a trap.

The media, has no clue what they’re talking about most of the time. Most are just echoes, instead of true journalism entities. You’ll watch a movie that will mention some real truths, and then suddenly blame it all on the WRONG side, out of bitter envy, even self deciet.

I hate having to say “if i had” this or that, i’d be able to do this or that. I want to really do it. I want to get things done, not for the feeling that “we’ve arrived” but because there is much worth fighting for.

*sigh*

he plays the blues of a broken home.

Jacob Hanly, one of my older brothers, is an amazing songwriter, and I’m truly, completely, absolutley not biased when I say that.

time, whats left of it anyways?

As I think of what I’m writing this very second as I write it, (in a “verbally-processing” sort of way); I realize time is slipping right through my fingers, and what could have been done, what should have been done, what was done is something that creeped up on me as I sit here in a coffee shop, editing photos from an aimless photoshoot in the depths of Kansas City. Was that time spent in vain? Is the time im using right now, in vain, because everything I’m contemplating has been figured out time and time again?

If I try to do more now, and cut out anything that can be considered a “vain distraction” from my more passionate goals in life, is that striving, and am I not embracing life, or am I actually focused and working towards something. Or would I only find out that what my passionate goals are unrealistic and I find out 10 years later that I strove to do something I just could not do, realistically.

America, at the turn of the tide.

Bear with me, as I’m going to illustrate in this somewhat lengthy post of what I feel is the current state of our country. The metaphor is not ideal, but I feel it works. If you don’t know what a riptide is, its simply a section of water with a current that pushes the surface further out in the ocean.

The so called “United” States of America is like that of a young swimmer swimming in the ocean at full speed through a set of what seems to be riptides; which draw the young swimmer deeper and deeper into the ocean. Each riptide serves as a catalyst to boost the swimmer’s speed at an exponential rate, with no end in sight when it may just leave the swimmer in the middle of the ocean.

Yet, what seemed to be a chain of a new, unique phenomenon in riptide history; is in fact, just water being pulled from the coastlands, and dragging all that is in the ocean towards a tidal wave of immeasurable size, with a strength unmatched, and all that is in its path it will carry to its death, or torn to shreds and at the least, irreparable.

The riptides that we think we’re seeing right now is the plunge into a socialist-like system of government with some seemingly noble intentions, and a majority of power-grabs and control-needy men and women in the government system.  It looks like we’re onto something new, something different, but it is in fact, a seemingly hopeful, seemingly intellectual repackaged version of socialism. This new version has a rhetoric as if we’ve climbed a ladder of human understanding and marketed broadly to a target market of each demographic and each walk of life. The leftist philosophies which drive the violent push towards the destructive wave is painted to the people with calculations which bear no variables, and contain a consensus of counselors who are trying to be self-seeking survivalists, instead of representatives of a population which entrusted them to do so.

The fantasies of the leftist philosophy are understandable, and it sounds too good to be true, like a scheme in which you invest your hard earned money, in hope earn money in an economy based on expectation of numbers, and not just simply hard work or good ideas that actually sell products that consumers and organizations can use.

The poster child for the leftist, (or liberal, Marxist, socialist, even pro-foolish) philosophy isn’t President Barack Obama, he’s just a loudspeaker on the beach which is just distracting everybody from the large wave on the horizon. He may even himself be unaware of its magnitude or existence. He and those whom he is representing may be unrealistically optimistic, and dreaming too much because the philosophy has become something like a religion, in which he takes faith in man, instead of God.

The poster child is humanism. Don’t get me wrong, humanity does have some strength within to accomplish good deeds, but the striving to “fix” things and manipulate and control EVERYTHING has, and will always be the vainglory of humanism. Noble it may seem in the moment, but as history shows, it has always led to death, destruction, war, chaos and the painful cycle of human weakness.

Humanism represents the “good” in which we all yearn to see, because the transparency in the contrast considering the magnitude of injustice and bad news versus the tangible good news and true justice being served.

The good in conservative values in contrast to the FORCED good & the seemingly “good” in liberal values is truly the epicenter of our nation’s conflict.

The existence of the poor, the orphan and the widow will always be with us, and should always be taken care of. No human organizations with all the wealth in the world will ever be able to reach each cry to the injustices they feel daily. Their struggle is a burden most of us want to see lifted.

The existence of the self-seeking escapists will also, always be with us. Humanity is never satisfied, and never will be, as long as we keep striving to control, fix, without the acknowledgment of our need of God’s help. God is being ridiculously KIND to us by allowing us to continue to strive to be this help, but the day we turn to Him for our help… is where true hope lies.

To do justice, we must all within our personal spheres of influence; reach out to the needy, afflicted, poor orphans, widows, and all that obviously fall into that category. There are many ways to do this, and it simply takes restructuring in your own lifestyle to adopt a habit of doing good deeds. Simply doing good deeds is not salvation from death, but it is something this new socialist-like government will force on the entire population through taxation without representation, and when that system collapses, it will be even harder to help those in need, and will only create a larger population of those in need.

So where is America right now, if we are like this swimmer in the ocean? Is it too late to turn back? I’m not completely sure it’s too late, but is it ever too late to try? The ways we can turn this swimmer around, is by getting actively involved in restoring the system which the forefather’s installed in this country to abandon the traps of tyranny. To do this, we must take back our country by getting organized with our communities and businesses, and do everything we can to stop the government that is supposed to be working for us and representing us; from driving this nation directly into the destructive wave.

If you’ve read this far, I now plead you to email, call and contact your congressman, to defect the healthcare bill, which is currently in congress. Urge senators to defect the cap & trade bill. The “Cap and Trade” bill has already been passed in congress, when it has not even been read by a majority of the congressman. The healthcare bill as well is making its way quickly through congress. If you don’t understand the way legislation and regulation is made in our country, DO YOUR HOMEWORK. The voting process is just ONE of the riptides which I am talking about. This is a riptide we can slow-down, or completely remove if we organize and do what we can to continue giving dignity to each American to lead a life in which they choose to do the right thing, as much as humanly possible. If we don’t fight now using the system we have in place, I fear we have a much greater conflict at hand, and it will lead to what I fear is the complete collapse of our system. It doesn’t mean life is over, but it means it’s dramatically, painfully harder.

twitter… ruining my writing ability.

in an effort to keep people updated with the travels, i use twitter.

the character limit of twitter forces me to be okay with poor grammar and structure, to the point where i’ve embraced a bad habit of finding quicker ways to say things.

the consequence : harder for the reader to read with ease and good pace. so bear with me as i attempt to regain some writing skill.

God’s wisdom: divine, brilliant timing yet seemingly unideal in realtime.

This is the story of my life. Probably the same for most of us, as we go through the daily races from sunrise to sunset and throughout the occasional restless night.

Embracing the journey of life, means accepting the setbacks for what they are, and navigating your way through them, and adapting to your circumstances, instead of getting anxious, frustrated or angry. I’ve learned that responding THOSE ways leads to more setbacks and jams that only pile up more anxiety, frustration or anger.

This is nothing new, it’s more like an echo of the wisdom Adam & Eve had to have come upon as they toiled under the sun planting the first gardens and weeding the first annoying weeds, profusely sweating as the gnats, ticks, chiggers, flies and all creeping crawling things would get in the way of such a simple task.

Joseph and Mary had to navigate through setbacks that would confuse and frustrate ANYBODY. I mean, why would God let them show up to an Inn, in an insignificant town, on a night where there is no vacancy, and put the poor father and mother in a position where their circumstances are so NOT ideal, especially when they believe that Mary is carrying the Son of God in her womb, and even let her go into labor, where the smelly, nasty animals reside? Besides noticing his humility, we MUST seek His wisdom.

“It is what it is” is the phrase I often repeat to myself as I endure 15 hour days of hard work in the sun, with merely a 5-10 minute break in between it all, with no days off until our work is done. The work alone contains enough frustrations and setbacks to stir me up, and there are so many negative things going on in the earth this very second, that I could write about it and make anybody, extremely angry, frustrated, full of strife, and stirred up to do something about the corruption, deception, and evil going on in the world.

To see and experience God’s wisdom and timing for ANYTHING, is by completely giving the situation to Him through prayer. Yes, that sounds totally religious, boring, and seemingly counterproductive if you look at prayer a certain way.

Ideally, I would love to be in constant prayer throughout the day, but my job, my thoughts, hopes, desires, plans often get in the way, but are also just a fact of life. What I’ve realized, is that ideals are attainable, if God gives the grace to get there. The grace is there, but I believe most of us never reach for it with all we’ve got. I know I don’t… I’m a dreamer. I try, and the effort counts, and God loves it… but truly… I know I could do better.

So as long as I know I could do better, and my transparency about myself with Him is ongoing and I’m not trying to hide in my shame from Him, I should REALLY enjoy seeing the work He accomplishes as I find peace in His leadership, by not responding negatively to any situation. Ideally I’d love to get through each day without a grumbling, or a deep groan or “BLAH!” about not being able to be around someone I want to be with, or to be back in the hotel and not working in the insane heat, or that I wouldnt just lose stuff all the time. Heh.

ANYWAYS… my point is… that by waiting patiently, praying for, and observing the ways of God BEFORE reacting emotionally, is essential to witness the wisdom in the proverb

“¹² Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.

I wish it didn’t seem so counterproductive. Because it’s not… I’m still working, trying to be wise with everything in life, but instead of acting on emotions, I’m learning that I need to keep my eyes on the prize, and look for the little lights at the end of each tunnel that I know is His direction.

A man once told me, “i have wisdom from pain, and pain from lack of wisdom.”

Now that I’ve seen and tasted and experienced his words, now I charge you, and myself, to embrace the journey, pray, and SEEK and OBSERVE His wisdom, before reacting hastily and digging deeper holes you can’t get out, or clogging up the highway to your hopes and dreams by looking for shortcuts around His way, because we’re all just impatient, weak, and lonely.

global warming.

Global warming; or “Climate Change,” is currently a global debate which has much legislation being RUSHED through congress, yet no real conversation about the unexplained, tangible implications it creates.

The implications are at first seemingly unrelated, but it is completely related to one big question.

The existence of God.

To say it simply, if you believe global warming is a very real threat, you do not TRULY believe in the existence of God, and if you are Christian who struggles with the fear of global warming, you do not believe that God has provided plans and a way for the restoration of this stunning planet we live in.

Yet, one may still try to believe in the idea of the existence of God, and that He provided us this planet, to take care of it, and die, and build your own theology based on a God that lives far off, leaving us to the injustices of men, and to live life full of pain, agony, injustice, sorrow, moments of joy, and eventually death. That kind of God does not seem to be the kind of God we are ALL, deep down inside yearning to know, or some are wanting NOTHING to do with. That kind of God, is not the kind of God that would bother creating humanity. We are not His scientific experiment, because if He is God, he would not need to create us, to see us fall as we have fallen time and time again.

So global warming, on the grand scale, is the fear of death, without the fear of God.

The central clash in the middle of this blurry argument is theism vs. atheism. Most will disagree with me that global warming is an atheist reality, but it is nothing short of it.

I understand the desire to be better stewards of our planet, as we should, for good sterwardship is wise, noble, and good… but the legislation being pushed through congress is NOT for the better of the planet, but for more control, and the ever so recurring theme in the history of man, of man STRIVING to bring justice and balance to a fallen world, without God.

hey, you…

self-seeking convenience or a sweet video with darling kids?
i’ll take the latter.

done

Bridge

Bridge in south Chicago. Taken from my iphone.

A night by myself

a quiet night by myself.

listening to Ray Lamontange while wandering and thinking in my backyard.

photos from my iPhone.

On the road..

I’m on my iPhone as i write this because while working in Chicago I experienced the loss of my laptop, wallet, expensive shoes I got for my birthday, and the destruction of my cell phone, hence the purchase of this brilliant invention, the iPhone.

I put all my own music on it, and have been finally writing melodies and lyrics to go with the hypnotic, sometimes too dramatic themes expressed musically. We’ll see how that goes when I finally can afford a new laptop with this new job.

Photgraphically I thought I was helpless until i realized the phone can take some decent pictures. I’ll start photo-journaling the travels all over the Midwest here soon. It might be kinda silly to have such diverse topics on one blog….. maybe.

The road has been quite a change for me on many levels. I have fresh perspective and vision for the things I want in my life, and the habits that I want purged are best to conquer now.

Since spring of 08, I have been on quite the spiritual journey, learning so much about God and myself. Now is the time for me to really embrace wisdom, and make most of my time to really make my desires more than just desires. I wasn’t lazy in my work ethic, but foolish in my decisions that actually work towards tangible growth. My emotions weren’t really grounded… and I’m slowly growing up through it all. Loving the journey so far…

One of the things I’m learning that you can take with you out of this somewhat boring post is trusting the Lords will in each passing moment of each day, and specifically each moment of conflict. What I mean by conflict is when any moment is not going your ideal way or someone is doing something a way that you know is less than what they could. With this new job I see setbacks every few minutes. Most if these setbacks are small, yet extremely frustrating as they frequent more than I feel they should.
The other thing in the light of trust is the direction this nation is taking on every level.
You have Obama and his seemingly vague promises colored with tactful language; poetically speaking to the hearts of a nation desperate for good news. (while making angry a silent multitude).
You see a confused justice system trying to operate with the defects of typical human error and corrupt individuals with private interests.
You see a media empire with lazy journalists just echoing the words of paid complainers who report without doing what a journalist is supposed to do, actual research and reporting. Even some (understatement) elope with the personal agendas of each media conglomerate.
You see an nationwide infrasructure with potential, but a generation too lazy and self seeking to maintain, improve and evolve it.
Then you have the ongoing conversation on morality (abortion, gay marriage, drugs, etc). These are great to have, but there has been such little growth because of the ideologies and paradigms on both sides and those in between that create reactionary responses that fuel the fire. On top of that you have the hypocrisy of the church which forces the conversation into a cycle and brings the conversation to that of elementary school kids arguing with eachother about why they have to stay indoors while it is raining outside, instead of going to the Teacher for answers.
Obviously, the teacher in the subject of trust is Christ. Alongside the bible, prayer is one of our best allies in these times, in each passing moment, and most enjoyable in the midst of conflict when you turn to Him and find peace, instead of frustration. In the moment of conflict you can grow in faith through the trials and produce patience knowing that God can use this moment to sharpen you, and keep you steady before Him. It should all lead to Christ, his return, and his plan to restore all things, make all wrong things right, and establish His kingdom on earth forever…

Love,
Adam

tempo dilemma

So im stuck on a feel for a new song idea…
for a second i like it slower, but it loses what i like about the faster, and vice versa…
Check it out… and turn it down probably, i make music loud.
obviously, its a rough cut… levels, samples, etc, are mediocre.

new-season-80

new-season-65

finally, some good news.

To say it in short, basically… Missouri took a very strong stance against the Freedom of Choice act, and clearly stated their reasons why in the text below… read if you like.

taken from:
http://www.house.mo.gov/billtracking/bills091/biltxt/intro/HR0294I.htm

FIRST REGULAR SESSION
House Resolution No. 294
95TH GENERAL ASSEMBLY

1396L.02I

Whereas, the 111th United States Congress is considering the Freedom of Choice Act, which purports to classify abortion as a “fundamental right”, equal in stature to the right of free speech and the right to vote – rights that, unlike abortion, are specifically enumerated in the United States Constitution; and

glorious video

done

image really does make a difference…

this is a total vain and meaningless post, but i just want to vent.

i was getting my phone reactivated today, i foolishly sat on my phone almost two months ago and broke the screen, so i got a new one recently to reactivate it.

walked into the store, and the customer service was pathetic, the countenance of every worker was not only bored and unhappy, but just totally uniterested in actually working, and just passing time.

the store didnt seem to have a dress code, and i only felt anxious the entire time i was there. then it took 2 hours to get the phone finished, and then when i left my truck didnt even start….

what was that all about? heh.

…back to writing the novel…

So after a ridiculously busy season of work, I am getting back to writing the novel “Great is the Darkness” (tenative title)… It has been a while, and I’ve been anxious to get back into writing. I got a ton on my plate still, so I wont have as much time as I desire to write, but now I can actually make a strong effort.

An old draft of the beggining of chapter 1 is on this blog. Names are changing among other things, so I better not link you to the old post and make you work at finding it. Heh.

Writing is easier when you listen to Canon in D by Pachelbel.

there’s a sunrise ’round the bend…

transition…

So, I’ve been in Kansas City for nearly 4 years now, and have come up to a major crossroad for my life. I’m in Texas right now, hanging out with the sweetest family. Im on a short vacation because I just quit one of my jobs and am pondering on what my next step is. I have so much energy stored up to really pour out my life into something.
The dillemma is that I have so many paths to choose from right now… there are only a couple that really stand out to me. The time I have left in life I want to spend laying my life down for what I care most about, but not for my own glory or benefit, but truly for doing what is right, and experiencing the joy of seeing the fruit of it later.

I have talents that have been unspent, sitting on the shelf for some time… I want to invest in that, but for good things, and for the sake of providing for myself & when i have a family.

I’m slightly anxious, and want to make the right decision… this decision is hard… really hard. Especially when you can visualize some of your ideas of the future now, and if you can really get there.

We always seem to want what we want when we want it. heh.

The thing I need most is patience.

thoughts on TRUST

Lately, I’ve been giving some thought to what trust is.

Bear with this one… its kinda boring.

We all usually give dignity to those we choose to trust without any history to support it, because we just simply like them because of what it is about that person externally and somewhat internally that warms us up to the idea of trusting them. We trust them until they hurt us, and invade our comfort zone, or even breach the lines of trust out of insecurity or even intentionally for personal gain.

The trustee (the one whom trust is being given), must do their part by maintaining that trust through means of thoughtfulness, respect, helpful deeds, time &  careful emotional investment, even up to tenderly rebuking the one with open arms with trust if there is a need for it.

Trusting someone means you are aware that their love, though with sincere effort, is weak, but you hope for the best, that they will not take advantage of you.

Some people take the knowledge they know about someone, and manipulate situations with charm, and affirmation, yet they are multi-tasking other relationships through what they know to get what they want.  Everyone wants to climb high on the ladder, because we all want to be adored, wanted, and cherished… and even to be that one everyone idolizes.

So there is only risk when we choose to trust people. The end result is a long lasting relationship that goes through seasons of great trust, and great pain. So, when we choose to trust this person, and give them dignity and grace, there is still the inevitable moment of truth, the breach, where the relationship goes through some re-assesment, and a deep breath.

Some people give too much grace, and out of insecurity or fear of loss of the friendship, allow the trustee to step all over them… which can be viewed as a humble move, but its harms their own personal growth in finances, self-worth, emotional stability, talents, etc.

What got me into thinking about this, was two things. Someone attempting to take advantage of me and acting as if I was totally unaware and naive to their intentions. And also the phrase on our currency “in God we trust.”

Trusting God is really easy, but also risky, yet the benefits are far greater than what the greatest men and women could spend their whole life diligently striving for. Trusting God is merely just not letting anxiety to rule your decisions and feelings about where you are at any moment of your life, but it is choosing to sit down, shut-up and pray. Trusting God is admitting that we are weak, and NEED His help. Trusting God is admitting that “I am more stupid than any man, I do not have understanding of man, nor knowledge of the Holy One.” (Proverbs 30:2). We fail to look at eternity and how small we are in this vast creation, get lost in the moment, and anxiety takes over.

If you look at the general cry of America, “yes we can”; it is from a heavy burdening desire for change from our bad decisions. This is a fantasy that we can rise up in our own human strength and bring this nation to a new level of independence and glory. The wasted money, the weak policy of banking, the unclear tax codes, the impoverished nations, hypocrisies, nasty politics, human trafficking, sex-slavery, murder, abortion, theft… makes us all realize that  justice must be served.

In man we have chosen to trust time and time again. In ancient days, they not only tried to trust in man, but in vain, STROVE for a response and favor from their MANY gods. Plato, Porphyry, Varro, other Greeks, & Romans spent a large amount of time contending for and against the needs of the gods, because they wanted something TANGIBLE. This is Proverbs 30:2 in effect, but just without fruit. They knew nothing, and chose to believe in an image, because in our limited knowledge cannot comprehend who God is in His infinite qualities, nor His not being bound to a physical frame as we are.

It seems to be the only time we choose to trust God is when there is a heavy feeling of uncertainty, or our circumstances and way of living have been so shaken, that we are humbled, and sincerly ask Him for help. As soon as God blesses us, and things are good, we turn to our comforts because the curse of death is still upon us, and we desire certainty & pleasure NOW, and typcially, we choose to trust ourselves more often than God because we often go astray when things feel certain or better than it was before. It’s funny I brought that up, because the next part of the Proverb says: (a prayer of Agur, the son of Jakeh…)

7 Two things I request of You
(Deprive me not before I die):
8 Remove falsehood and lies far from me;
Give me neither poverty nor riches—
Feed me with the food allotted to me;
9 Lest I be full and deny You,
And say, “Who is the LORD?”
Or lest I be poor and steal,
And profane the name of my God.

When push comes to shove, it will be crazy for a minute. Finding contentment should be easy if you are breathing, and have had food in your stomach today, and are warm in this nasty cold winter.

Trusting God comes down to knowing that He is not far off, being still, knowing that the unseen God is aware of the need for Justice, and His desire is that the lost would be saved. And from here I could go on about God’s original design of creation, understanding what heaven truly is, and how Jesus Christ is truly the center and mediator for the Justice we are all waiting in AGONY for…etc.

What truly allows you to trust in Him, is when you have hope. “Hope deferred maketh the heart sick: but when the desire cometh, it is a tree of life.” Having hope takes unwavering faith that there is a plan for restoration, and what was lost when man fell, and chose our own will over His abundant love and security. Trusting that He is not like us, and did not leave us to rot, is a necessity to have hope in the daily race of life.

craziness…

Proverbs 24:13-14 (NKJV)

13 My son, eat honey because it is good,
And the honeycomb which is sweet to your taste;
14 So shall the knowledge of wisdom be to your soul;
If you have found it, there is a prospect,
And your hope will not be cut off.

constantly working, praying, thinking, working, praying, working, thinking, praying and then aching for that moment for a deep breath.

the days have been long, tiresome, and all i want is a nice cup-o-coffee and something inspiring to read/study.

lately, the topics on my mind are; the divinity of Christ, the prophetic, eternity, Nicodemus, celibacy, film, photography, and music.

if only a snap of the finger would slow me down, and take me up to heaven in a vision like John’s

i only see wasps in kansas city, where’s my honeycomb? i want one.

O! The Prophetic!

Boston 1727 : “The Earth Devoured by the Curse”

back to to square one…

So I decided to start writing again. I’ve begun to get so busy (two jobs and soon starting school @ FSM), that I felt compelled to start writing my thoughts, heart, opinion, etc. on WordPress again.

I have been writing a novel, which I actually am writing it ON wordpress, but I keep the posts private so you CAN’T see it. I may just make it public eventually and then people can just read the book on here… I don’t need a publisher to get the book out, nor do I need money for writing something when they are merely words, and a story that isn’t really new, because it’s in the bible, kinda. It’s inspired by the bible, but it’s not an allegory of the apocalyptic events seen in John’s writings and throughout the Scriptures. It’s more like an epic journey of a character moments before Jesus returns… the story is sweeeeeeet so far.

The reason I felt a need to write again was because